Thursday, April 1, 2010

Red Cucumber

This month's theme is "red." It can't be any more coincidental with my pet project that I have worked on for quite a while: genetically create a red cucumber. I have succeeded, and this is its first appearance anywhere. It's extremely hard to modify the genetic traits of the natural cucumber that is green in appearance so that the mature fruit is red. Moreover, I only wanted the fruits to be red, and every thing else remain green. Today, I am in a generous mood so I am unveiling here how I did it:

First, you have to get to the very small scale of matter. And I talk about small, small, small...The closer you get to the Planck scale, the redder your cucumber will be. My "red cucumber" (TM, @) my own first ever attempted Cucurbitaceae rubella "Stultifera aprilis" (TM, @) is not as red as I would like. This is because I could not get all the way to the Planck scale, the reason being I am not very good with the tool I use, the ubiquitous "photographatus pergulae #7". So, with this tool, I manipulated the Calabi-Yau manifold and made sure its holes are odd. I can tell you this is not easy! Then the even holes will auto-vanish and the concomitant green quarks are instantaneously transmuted into their super symmetrical anti-quarks that contain all the "rubella" stochastic properties that are stable to order gamma, et voila! Instant red cucumber!

By the way, Happy April's 1st.

Happy April's 1st!

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